Semi-revival of the blog
Lol. At least i bothered to find a pic and bothered to host it on photobucket and edited the template. But the colour scheme sux and i know it. Shall leave it alone for the time being.

Supposed to be doing my minutes or performance plan but just ain't in the mood to do it right now.

Doesn't feel right to be doing work out of the office.

Hmm. Yesterday was a rather strange day. Lol.

Went to BPP starbucks with 창민오빠 to study. Him English, and me Korean. But i ended up helping him more with his English anyway. Can i say it always amuses me to see him studying? Heh. It's like watching a small kid trying his best to make sense of all the work laid infront of him and it's daunting and he knows he's not good at it, but still he tries his utmost to complete it. All for the sake of hearing a compliment or having a reward at the end of it. Heh.

Anyway made him study for 2 hours (the first time he called for a break was like 15mins after we started :D) which eventually he did. 오빠 잘 했네~ ㅋㅋ And he did something really cute. He made me close my eyes and when i opened them again, there was this huge multi-coloured lollipop in front of me..^^ Heh. According to him, that's for White Day. =) But i told him i'm not gonna eat it and he asked me to use it for decorative purposes. -___-;;

After that i had a craving for korean food so we headed to town. Originally wanted to go 빨간돼지 but later i changed my mind cos i wanted to eat haagen daz at esplanade. So we took 75 from bukit panjang interchange. That was also pretty funny cos he kept asking me to trust him (i have never taken 75 before and the road names didn't look familiar on the signboard) but well, i just did. I figured even if we really got lost, i would just use my google map. Ha.

Somehow, i like the feeling of taking buses with him. Hee.

Anyway eventually we didn't get lost and we alighted just outside Victoria Concert Hall. The first thing he said? '화장실 갈래~' Lol.

So we went into VCH looking for a washroom and he was rather fascinated with the entire place, to the extent that he was bugging me to go online to check if there are any upcoming orchestra concerts that he can watch. That is totally unexpected coming from a person like him. Heh.

Then later we found our way to Jang Shou at Esplanade. And just when i was flipping through the menu, a guy suddenly came up besides me and stared at me for like a few seconds. Believe me when i say i was like staring back, expecting the person to be one of the waiters there, waiting for my orders. =p Only after he started speaking when it finally registered in my mind.. ahh sijin??

Ok.. Despite being my second xiaodi, it's been like nearly 2 years since we last met each other so i can't be blamed for not recognising him straightaway. Lol. So the 2 of them briefly greeted each other in korean (obviously) before sijin went back with his family. Maybe i should really call him out one day before he returns to korea too next year.

In the end, the 2 of us couldn't finish all the food..

There was this ongoing Mosaic performance outside so we went over to take a look but standing at a mere 1.58m, as usual i could barely catch a glimpse, while he was happily enjoying the show. >< N he even volunteered to let me sit on his shoulders, if i wasn't wearing a skirt. Thanks sia. Lol.

Shall stop here cos my thoughts are rather disorganised today and i think it's affecting my standard of writing. Anyway what happened after that kinda cleared up all the confusion once and for all, and i'm glad that we finally talked it through.

It was an issue that was long overdue anyway. Just that i was hovering between the desire to know and the temptation to just overlook it and enjoy while it lasts.

And he did something really out of a kdrama! LOL. It doesn't seem that real after i woke up this morning though, unfortunately. I think i need a pinch. Haaa.

또 울어버렸다.. @ 12:21 PM

Notice
Shall be closing this blog for the moment as I have no time for it recently.

And i still have to go through the hassle of changing the template. ARgh.

또 울어버렸다.. @ 5:28 PM

Sucky mood again..
Well, the title is originally supposed to be 'People who Come and Go', but in order to clearly illustrate my mood now, i thought it was probably more appropriate. Lol.

Yeah. Feeling slightly blue at the moment. Or rather, have been nursing that feeling for a couple of days. It's damn annoying when i can feel the disgust building inside me again. And there are only 2 kinds of occasions when that happens. First, (i know it's pretty lame) when i go for interviews. (It's scary 'k) Second, when People leave my life. To clarify, 'leaving' here can include, but does not necessarily refer to departure from this world. 

So yup, it's related to my topic anyway.

Let's look at it from a broader perspective. 

It isn't that far from exaggeration when i say that people practically walk into your lives and just nonchalantly leave at the next moment. More often that not, these are just mere human beings who do not evoke any emotions from you when they are no longer around. Sometimes, it goes to the extent that you don't even register their absence in your daily lives. In short, they are just GONE.


I will be absolutely frank. Everyone is dispensable to everyone else in this world. Sure, I know the argument. Family and friends are important. I didn't say otherwise. But you won't die (unless out of personal choice) just because someone is gone. Life goes on. Sun sets and sun rises like nobody's business. That's how life is. 

But of course, i admit to situations when i hate having certain People disappearing from my world. Honestly speaking, that feeling has never once occurred before and would never have occurred if it wasn't for my obsession with korea. It's the whole business of going to korea, only to subsequently leave it; knowing korean friends, and subsequently having them leave and somehow recently that even kinda extended to include a particular person who doesn't have any connections with korea whatsoever.

Note that i am not romantically involved with all these People. Some of them are underaged! Lol. It's just that i really grew to like them and it feels like something is missing when they suddenly leave. To put it in other words, their presence made a difference and their absence created an emptiness in me. 

The first time i felt it was when kiwon오빠 left. I still remember how he tried to break the news gently to me while we were sitting on the floor at bishan library. That was followed by eunjun and the familiarity i had built up with RT before i left for korea. So naturally that included students like sijin, taewon etc. I used to love teaching at PL cos i always looked forward to having eunjun there and erm having him tweak my schedules slightly. Ha. Then i had to say goodbye to all when i made the decision to study in korea. At that time, i already knew that things wouldn't be the same again when i return. Still, for that mere 3.5 months of korea, i chose to give it up.


The next time i felt that was in korea and the one that left the strongest impact on me was obviously the One. 

김휘문.

Memories so precious that they are already kept securely away, to be left untainted. 

The person who stepped into my life for less than 3 months but left such a huge crater behind when he stepped out. 

In fact, it is the exact crater that eventually led to the adoption of certain mindsets. I dun wish to elaborate on them openly cos they come across as extremes to most and i have no intention of entertaining people who wish to intrude on and attempt to change my way of thinking. Thanks, but no thanks. 

Unfortunately, I guess i had let my guard down.

I should abide by the rules of the game that i have set for myself. 

Probably just let myself wallow in self pity for just one more week before i return to my capsulated world again. 

One that does not allow any movement.




If i were in jay's shoes, i might have already gone nuts. God bless his soul.


또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:33 PM

-____-
Was looking for a photo that I was to submit to a colleague and consequently to be mounted on the NUS website when i chanced upon a very old photo.


For the sake that everyone would stop asking about him, I shall just mention it for the first and also the last time.

We are not in contact anymore.

So this person is officially someone who existed once in my memories. And that's about all.

But well, i wouldn't deny that he's one of the main characters in my upcoming essay.

또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:17 PM

Sleepy Christmas Eve..
Yeah it's Christmas Eve and i'm actually blogging which hints at the fact that i'm (unfortunately) at home. Lol. Nah. Dun feel like being outside squeezing in the crowd either. Since it's not Korea anyway.

Had a Christmas potluck party today in my department and I was quite enthusiastic to be helping out. I think that was frankly more fun than eating the food itself. And i even got a few presents from my new colleagues. Heh. Love the handstitched bookmark with the word 'Jaeey' that one of them made! ^^

Anyway I made a pact with angel to blog about our selected themes (being the eng eng cheng cheng people we are lol) and to start the ball rolling, the first theme set by me is actually: 'People who Come and Go'. I could have gone with something more abstract (i love abstract themes) but angel requested that i tone it down. Ha.

So yeah. Trying to think of my essay. HAhah.

Received an overseas call this morning from none other than my 2nd xiaodi who called all the way from Korea just to ask me if he should date this ger. I have to say this boi is really cute. Lol. Asked a favour of him to help me get my Market O' brownies and hopefully he does remember!! I want my brownies~~~~~



또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:06 PM

무서워서 지워버렸어..
이제부터 그 사람의 대한 아무말도 안 할게..

말이 있어야 말이 나올 수 있거든.

없으면 무슨 말을 할까 내가.


요즘 자쯩나 죽겠어.

나를 위해 사는 건 안되나?

이 세상.. 아직도 실망하게 마음에 안 드네~

또 울어버렸다.. @ 8:45 PM

The 101th day..
I miss Jay. Miss his smile.



또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:48 PM

DDay tomorrow..
Gonna have my LASIK tomorrow. Finally!

I'm crossing my fingers in whatever angle possible that nothing goes wrong during the surgery and that i can really bid farewell to nerdy specs and annoying lens.

Can't believe i actually wore my specs out of the house for almost a week. I think the last time i ever did that was like in jc or even before that. Trust me when i say i condemn specs. -___-

The more i think of my book tote, the more i wish i could lay my hands on them. ARgh. But i cant find a way to get them to singapore!! Can jaebeom send it to me from Seattle? Lol. Was looking at facebook these days and it dawned on me that alot of my peers have already been to US. Ok. I just made up my mind that i should save really hard and fly to US myself one day. I soooooo wanna go to Seattle, LA and NY. And maybe drop by Boston and California. For taec and khun's sake. HAAH.

Been indulging in my utube obsession for the past week and i still have not got enough of it. Lol. Rewatched 2PM [혈열남아] and [떴다 그녀] (i just had to do that) and Jaebeom is just so unbelievably adorable. ^^  On the other hand, i have also been busy trying to cram my brain with names and matching them to faces. And the current count stands at 5 down, 1 left for Beast and 2 down, 3 left for MBLAQ. Boybands names overload. But i'm not complaining of course. Ha.

Time to let my poor desktop take its well deserved rest. The poor fella had been up and working since 9 or 10am in the morning! OOps.

또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:34 PM

A new life..
Truth to be told, I'm actually feeling rather good these days. Which is kinda weird and novel in a sense, given the perpetual pessimistic streak that i had always thought to be so deeply ingrained in me. Yeah, for those who never did realise it, (not that i show it often) i do NOT view this world as an 'oh-so-wonderful' place i.e. i am cynical. Very. In fact, it's almost second nature to constantly find faults not just with this world, but with the people in it, including me.

That probably alludes to why i am an atheist as well.

It's not that i'm furious with anything or anyone. It's just that there's practically nothing to let me anticipate in this world. Well, besides korean stuff. But now, i am slowly getting the feeling that maybe there is something else after all..

Which should be good i guess.

I should attribute this to my new job. Heh.



또 울어버렸다.. @ 8:53 PM

Jae&Jay

Waiting for this to be released on November 12.. Issit just me or does jae look prettier than han hyo joo? Lol. Hope the release doesn't get pushed back again.. As a typical fan, i certainly don't look forward to the smoochy scenes. -___-''

It sometimes amuses me how jae and jay (despite the similarity in name) attract me for totally different reasons. Jae is incredibly beautiful and I have always considered him as the benchmark for my 'pretty boy' standards i.e. nobody else measures up to him in terms of looks, so in short, Jae is practically the incarnation of the word 'perfection' himself. Of cos, added to that will be his extremely gentle demeanour and that wonderfully husky yet soothing voice. He may also not be the best in dancing, but to me, perhaps the only flaw in his character is that he's the self-conscious type who is usually reluctant to do gags etc. or anything that can possibly ruin his image. Well, frankly that doesn't affect me much cos i'm rather similar in that aspect. Lol.

On the other side of the spectrum, Jay does not typically fall under the 'pretty boy' category. Well, he did sport a long fringe when he first debuted (and i still think that looks really good on him) but i'm actually fine with jay's later hairdos as well. And ah, he's not tall. I have to admit that it was something unattractive at first, but later that point became irrelevant. Heh, so for jay i kinda ignored my usual standards c.f. jae. (jae is almost 180cm himself) and while both of them do train at the gym, there's no way jae's abs can be comparable to jay's.  

Here's a picture for emphasis. LOLx. So what was i saying.. Hahaa. Oh and even though jay may not be jae-kind-of-beautiful, he's gorgeous in his own way. Yeah for the first time in my life, i actually labelled someone as being beautiful not based on looks. I am pretty superficial.. ha. I mean not that i'm talking about people around me in real life, i'm talking about stars anyway. I like jay's voice alot, though of cos there may be opinions that differ from mine and jae's voice is definitely smoother to most. But i adore the fact that jay's a natural b-boy, and he raps n sings and has that american accented english+half-past six korean. LOl. Both of them may be equally dorky at times, but unlike self-conscious jae, jay is much more open and game for anything. And i really mean anything, including stockings over the head. Keke. That just makes him more adorable than ever. ^^

Last but not least, the main factor that makes them so appealing is kinda cliched, but it's the amount of hard work they put in. I love the kind of never-say-die spirit they have, particularly in jay. It wouldn't be exaggeration if i go as far as to say that its inspiring.




또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:02 AM

Lazy.
Wasn't in the mood to blog again these days. That despite the fact that alot of things happened during this period. Guess it would be much easier to list them.

1) I am FINALLY leaving my current job. It's not that i dislike it, it's just that it has gotten to the point that i am rather sick of it. I mean it's not something that i would actually imagine myself doing for the rest of my life. And alot of other factors contributed to it; for example, the possibility of moving into a condo (earlier), or even getting down to having a puppy of my own actually hinges on the job i have. So yeah.

2) The reason why i'm tendering my resignation in the midst of the lousy economy is that i also FINALLY landed a new job. ^^ Going back to a familar environment which can be good and bad depending on how you look at it. But for now, i'm pretty satisfied with it.

3) Been pretty much leading a pseudo-tai tai life recently. Lol. Not wanting to under-pamper myself (excuses), i actually signed up for a couple of packages without so much as blinking an eye, namely a classic pedi&mani package, a True Spa package, Amore gym package and an aesthetics package with Neuglow that i decline to elaborate on. And to add to that, i may be going for LASIK too. My mum suddenly had a total change in her attitude towards LASIK and suggested that i do it before starting the new job since it would be hard to get leave after that. Now that she's the one initiating it, i end up getting the jitters myself about the operation. Sheesh. But it is something that i really wanted to do, given that so many friends around me had already went through it and survived. After all the reviews online, i am contemplating Epi-LASIK over the conventional Intralase LASIK. Hmm..

4) Although i have already informed the principal about it, i am still rather annoyed as i would rather stop teaching completely so that i can go for my LASIK and have enough recovery time before i embark on the new job. Yet, the lack of teachers means that i might not be able to leave earlier.. Unless i force my bf to turn full-time. Lol. Ok out of the question.

5) At the same time, i wish to 'get rid' of my tuition but the mum has been dismissing my request, unwilling to let me go. I'm not flattered in any way. I guess it's just familiarity that's driving her reluctance. But i will still definitely end it by this month.

6) Was having body aches last week after consecutive lessons of kickboxing and belly dancing at Amore. I enjoy the former, but i can't say the same for the latter.. Lol. Trust me, i would rather go for hiphop, salsa or even bboy.

7) Ok, that's all about my life and now to other stuff.

8) Jay is still not yet back. It's an issue that has been nagging at my mind all this while since the day he left korea. I wanna cross my fingers and pray that the countdown over at the official 2PM site is for his return, but i'm afraid of disappointment at the same time. The waiting sux. I was only in korea for less than 4 months and i already missed it so much, how can netizens be so cruel and unfeeling to someone who had been in korea for 4 years just for his training. It's lame. Pure lameness.

9) The court may have ruled in favour of jae, su and chun so far (Who wouldn't for christ's sake.. even a blind man can see that LSM is practically devouring all the profits himself) but the case is still officially unsettled yet and again, the waiting sux. DBSK is the best of the best and LSM is just digging his own grave if he chooses to give them up. Dumb.

10) The only thing that makes my life light up a notch these days is [You're Beautiful]. I mentioned it before, but if 2PM and DBSK ever cease to be active, i might be disillusioned enough with the korean entertainment industry to give it up entirely. Too much injustice for me to swallow and still smile at it. Thankfully, jang geun seok, hongki and jung yonghwa are preserving my sanity by furnishing me with a reason not to throw in the towel. Yet. All 3 of them are so adorable~

또 울어버렸다.. @ 8:31 PM

Jay..


또 울어버렸다.. @ 11:47 AM

Finally pics..
AH. Now then i realised that i had to do something over at the 'settings' so as to update to the new editor. I finally see the 'post image' icon! Wootz. Lol. Was over at allkpop and the first article that caught my eye today was the one-liner, 'Does Jaejoong make your heart flutter?' ^^ Duuuh. I thought the question was kinda redundant. -____-'''


또 울어버렸다.. @ 7:43 PM

Busy busy..
Can't believe that i'm actually watching 7 dramas simultaneously. Lol. That would be my [Return of iljimae], [Queen of Housewives], [Kingdom of Wind], [Triple], [The Man who Can't Get Married], [My Fair Lady] and [Tamra the Island]. Well, 9 in fact if you count [Heading to the Ground] and [Dream] which i had 'peeked' at out of curiosity.

I'm losing interest in [triple] gradually.. it's just a milder form of incest! ARgh. Min hyorin and lee jung jae definitely dun look compatible together. It just doesnt seem nor look right. And the relationships are so messy that the only 2 reasons why i'm still on it are that first, i dun like to give up dramas halfway as much as possible and second, song joong ki. Even lee seon kyu's charismatic voice fails to save the day. Lol. I hate the ger he's paired with!! I'll just have to endure through the last 6 episodes. Luckily it's only 16. Ha.

Even [The Man who Can't Get Married] is tons more enjoyable than [triple].

I love [My Fair Lady]~~ Haha. People were commenting that jung il-woo's character was far too perfect that if he was real, he would probably be a burden to his other half. Well, agreed budden again, where on earth can you find such a flawless human on earth..Lol.

Anyway, today is the day!

At 2P.M. today (Seattle time), Hottests would be flying a banner in the sky dedicated solely to Jaebeom. I'm impressed, seriously. But i'm really glad at the same time for all the love and efforts showered on him. ^^

And i was really happy to see hyunjoong appearing on [family]..

I hope things are finally turning for the better for the bois. September was really an awful month.

ps/ i still can't find the dumb 'post image' button. in fact i have already set up a blog on wordpress and i might just start posting over there in due time. i'll see how it goes first..

또 울어버렸다.. @ 11:21 AM


Been contemplating jumping over to wordpress for quite some time now especially since blogspot seems to be rather user unfriendly these days, but had been holding back cos there's no way i can move the archives over and i don't really wanna lose all the old entries. Hmm..

Should i or should i not..

The stupid 'post image' button should just appear before i really jump ship~

ps/ Can't wait for my [You're Beautiful] to start in october! My Jang geun seok and lee hongki.. Lol.

또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:46 AM

A lone Piscean in this world
11.03.1984
꿈을 잃은 아이
Frigging irrational
Works solely on emotion
Nonchalent about reality
Advocate of Atheism
Not a people's person,
but an animals' person
Only belief - 대한민국

내 싸이월드



Jay Park. 박재범.
멀리 가지마 다시 와라.
우리 옆에서.
제발.
그 날까지 기다릴께.



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